Frances Esch

I haven't written about this because I feel like its very personal and doesn't need to be on the internet. However, since I also use this blog as a historical reference in our lives, I feel like I need to recognize this significant change in our lives.

May 11, my grandmother passed away. She had been sick for a long time and we thought the end was near more than once. But when the end was finally unavoidable I was lucky enough that Frances waited for me to fly to Oklahoma. I was able to be next to her touching her leg watching her face when she passed away. She was surrounded by family and I  and I am grateful she waited for me. I am grateful because I wasn't able to be by my other grandmothers side when she passed away and have always felt bad for not being there.

I feel like I showed and expressed my love through words and in life with her and I don't have any regrets with our relationship. But that doesn't stop me from missing her soothing way and tremendous life force. Here is a little bit about about my grandmother and her life:

Frances Shecueckuk-Esch, a lifetime resident of Oklahoma died Wednesday the 11th of May. Dollie Frances Reed was born in Clinton Oklahoma in a box car on March 19, 1928 where her father worked for the railway. She was the daughter of Dellie Upchurch and Frank Reed, sister to Margret.  

She grew up within a world of struggles and faced death on more than one occasion. Her first near death experience was as soon as Frances was born, Dellie was unable to produce nursing milk. Frances was allergic to goat and cow milk and on the verge of starvation before a neighbor who also had an infant girl offered to nurse Frances along with her own child. Frances and her nursing sister were forever bonded and stayed connected and in some form until their passing.  

Frances and her family also survived the Dust Bowl. A powerful memory she shared one time was about driving through Kansas in the 1930’s with wet towels covering their heads as protection from the dust. Visibility was so poor they couldn’t see the road the family believed they would die of suffocation if they stopped driving. In order to move past the storm they traveled along the fence posts to guide their way until they exited danger many, many hours later.  

Finally in 1937 on Christmas Eve, Frances was diagnosed with Scarlet Fever. With no antibiotics during that time and her fever so high, the Doctor said Frances would either live or die in the next 4 hours. The family was evacuated from the house and she was quarantined inside. The only form of communications until she was better was through the window. Frances was incredibly ill for over 6 weeks and and had to learn to walk again once she recovered. 

Shortly after recovering from Scarlet Fever the families home burned down due to a clogged stove vent. Everything they owned was destroyed. The only items that survived the fire was a pair of charred cuticle clippers and her mother purse which was outside the home at the time of the fire. After the fire, Frances father, Frankie Reed, (aka: Bob) took a new job with Jean Claud. While the family was traveling via horse and buggy to Bob’s new job location, the house they were supposed to occupy burned down as well. The family ended up moving into Jean’s personal home. Jean later killed Bob for not participating in his illegal bootlegging business in 1938. 4 years later, Dellie remarried a man named Roscow Stewart (aka: Pop) in 1942. Roscow was a good man whom Frances loved like a father.  

Most of her life growing up, the family was very poor. Frances and her family used horse and buggy as transportation and lived without plumbing, electricity, phones or heaters. They butchered a hog once a year, canned all their own food, traded field crops with neighbors, used pages torn out from JCP catalogs as toilet paper and made clothes out of the fabric that lined feed sacks. Women in the community would swap feed sack fabric so they would have enough material with the same pattern to make a dress. It took 3 feed sacks to make a dress. Dellie, an amazing seamstress, made all of the families clothes and blankets. For several years after France's father death, the family survived on the Salvation Army’s generosity and services. At Christmas the Salvation army gave them a Christmas basket with powdered milk, a coat for each family member, oranges and canned goods. When school started in the fall, Frances was given 1 pair of shoes. She went barefoot most of the summer because by the end of the year her shoes had been worn through and and during the war the shoes were issued from the state. 

Frances education and careers were as interesting as her history growing up. Frances graduated from High School despite never really caring for school. As a child and she washed dishes and clothes for a tenant in a rental property for .10 cents a week. As a teenager she babysat and worked at TG&Y (she lied on her application and said she was 16). After graduation she worked as a telephone operator. She retired from Travelers insurance company as a secretary after 28 years. For the next 20 years Frances went on to start a second career where she built a successful business as a shaklee coordinator where her love for vitamins, health and travel was born. Frances earned 4 different cars, traveled to numerous countries and was rewarded with several trips for her successful sales. 

Frances grew up in a conservative, religious family where no dancing was allowed. They played bingo and Old Maid and one Christmas both sisters received a pair of roller skates. They spent many hours skating in front of the house. In fact, Frances met her husband George Sheueckuk, at a skating rink in Clinton Oklahoma when she was 15 years old. He was her first boyfriend. George was in the Navy, stationed away from home and his family did not approve of their marriage. In fact, his parents offered George $500 not to marry “that girl from Oklahoma,” This was a generous sum for the time. George defied his parents and they married at a preachers house on December 4th, 1944 in Travers City Michigan where George was stationed with the Navy. George wore his uniform and Frances wore a simple plain blue dress. There were no family or friends present at their marriage and the only witnesses were 2 women from the preachers church who stopped by his house for an unexpected visit. Frances was pregnant with Gary at the time and they shared no honeymoon because shortly after the wedding George was deployed with his ship. Even after years of marriage, Frances never felt welcomed by Georges family. 

Frances and George were married 41 years before he passed away in 1985. Together had one son together, Gary Sheueckuk in 19XXX. Together George and Frances also loved to dance. Frances never learned to dance growing up but George and his family often enjoyed dancing at their large family get togethers. Once married, George taught Frances to dance and they shared a love of square dancing until Georges health deteriorated. Frances made all of her square dancing dressed and they danced with 3 different clubs during the week and weekend until George passed away. 

Frances met Frank Esch in 1985 less than a year after George died. Frank was 13 years her junior and Frances had hesitations about the relationship because of what people would think. Frank asked Fran, “Are you not ready for this relationship? Or are your friends and family not ready?” Frank proposed in February outside while looking at the moon. Frances was again unsure about the union and Frank said, “If I love the Lord more than you, and you love the Lord more than me, there is no reason why this won’t work.” They were married one month later March XX 1986. Unlike her first marriage, Frank and Fran had a church wedding, surrounded by friends and family with a wedding dress, flowers and photographer. After the wedding they traveled around the US on a 3 week honeymoon. For the next 30 years, Frank and Fran traveled the world together in their motor home. They shared a wonderful love together and spread the word of Jesus, friendship and love everywhere they went. 

Later in life Frances loved word searches, card games, playing dominos, peanut butter, chocolate, children, prayer and faith. She had an incredible memory and was able to recall facts from life with tremendous clarity. She read her bible every day and also enjoyed the book Jesus Calling and Upper room. Other joys included sponsoring her Compassion International children. She crocheted blankets and clothes for Newborns in Need and donated to Operation Shoebox and volunteered in the children’s ministry. Even though most of her childhood was spent in poverty Frances went on to lead a richly filled life. 

Its been 5 months and I still sometimes think to myself, "I need to call Grandma. I haven't talked to her in a while," only to remember she is gone. I can still hear her voice, "Holly, this is Grandma." In fact, I still have several messages saved on my phone with her voice to remember and feel her presence, although I haven't had the strength to listen to them since she has died.

Even though she was know my many nick names: Dolly, Frances, Fran, Green Muck, Muck and PomPom and Frick and Frack, grandmother, G-ma, her first motives and thoughts were always about other people. I loved her dearly and as I grew older treasured more and more her patience, historical story telling, amazing memory, love for others, myself and my children. Frances loved life and she was a constant in my life for the past 40 years. How lucky I was to have loved someone who makes saying goodbye so hard.